My stomach feels unsettled.

My mind feels unsettled that my stomach feels unsettled.

My nostrils are stuffy and running.

I have a slight headache .

I had a dream about a partner from the past last night. The dreams in relation to that person are always the same. The person eludes me and I’m always wondering why they’re at the next end of the building talking to me. But I can never clearly hear or understand what they’re saying. The dream I think, represents how I’ve always felt about the person.

Distant. Secretive.

Why did you waste my time for so long? Why did I waste my own time?

Why didn’t I listen and notice the patterns? You honest.

I may have deceived myself.

Why did many things about you feel forced?

Why did you tell me after almost 2 years that you naturally don’t tell me much and that people who just knew you – knew more about you?

What does that say about you?

What does that say about me?

Why am I angry about the time spent with you?

I am very confused about the time wasted since I’ve been wanting to be more deliberate and intentional about each moment in my life.

Why do I constantly think about you and then feel angry?

I don’t think I have resented something this much.

This was written on November 12, 2021 at 11:34.a.m.

I feel like crying. I’m worried about the feeling inside my stomach. I feel bad whenever I eat or drink water.

A close associate of mine suddenly died of a blood clot to his lungs.

I’m worried that I’m worried.

I now know what it means to be sick to my stomach