“ Fine I’ll drive my own Car to Montecito then”

“ After this, I’ll never want to see you again”, my neighbour shouted as she unpacked her belongings from her boyfriend’s Car, slammed the door before he could finish uttering “ Don’t slam the Do…!”

I stretched my neck to peek over at my neighbour’s house just to get a better understanding of what had just transpired.

What could have upset Brittany to the brink of ending her relationship right here onwards.?

I wasn’t going to allow the guilt of nosiness stop me from dissecting this issue. It was pressing and sparked my interest particularly because I have never seen Brittany this enraged.

As her boyfriend’s Sports Utility Coup sped off, I could here Brittany dialing and then attempting to explain what I imagined to be, the disagreement between her and her boyfriend moments ago, to someone.

“Imagine I wasn’t able to sleep last night because I knew he would’ve come with this ish this morning.”

“Here I am being considerate, starving myself of my own cravings and he’s now expecting me not to eat in his car on this 5 hour trip to Montecito ?”. “ He’s crazy !”.

I thought to myself that couples argued all the time and heated discussions usually cause other heated disagreements and in no time they’ll drop their egos, discuss the real issue(s) and that my neighbors would be lovey dovey again in no time.

I didn’t intend to be judgmental about this issue since none of what I’d just witnessed was my business, neither did anyone ask for my opinion on the matter.

But my concern is not so much about the content of the argument and what caused it, my curiosity begs me to question how much we’re willing to sacrifice at any given time just to get our own way?

In the heat of a hostile moment, we are tempted to hold dearly to our opinions and values but do they always serve us in any EVERY situation ?

My neighbor was willing to end her relationship over her boyfriend’s disapproval of her eating inside his car. Was his car really that important to him that he was willing to casually watch his spouse walk away?

Was she willing to end her relationship because she wasn’t able to drop food crumbs inside his car? Can’t be.

Again, though I’m tempted to be concerned about the answers to those questions. Those answers aren’t important, for the purpose of this piece.

I can agree that my own nearsightedness have caused me to stick to my own expired values without pondering whether those values serve me or anyone else in certain situation.

I pride myself on being a student of the Utilitarian Philosophy which claims that an act is good once it does the most good for the most people involved. A note to Policy Makers as well.

I interpret this to mean that once a deed benefits the most people in any given situation, the deed is considered to be good.

Of course it can be argued that good is subjective since, in an aging population, where the country criminalizes abortion, it could be seen as beneficial for abortion to be illegal.

But in the case of my neighbors ( and I have no right to assume anything), I imagine the best deed would be for them to commence their 5-hour journey, with intermittent eat stops, to accommodate Brittany’s eating. Because we have to eat, right?

Similarly, her boyfriend wants her company on their 5-hour journey to Negril. In that case, both parties would have successfully received their way.

But the remedy to life’s most triggering Dilemma isn’t in a Manual. Christians may argue that the Bible is Life’s Manual but that is subjective.

And in the heat of the moment, even if my neighbours had subscribed to the Utilitarian Philosophy, with tempers flaring and the reality of a 5 hour drive to not get caught in an impending curfew in the next 7 hours, it’s unlikely that in this moment, ration would supervise emotions.

The Answer.

Could it be that amid any triggering moment lies the opportunity to confront the battles from which we are desperately seeking resolve?

In other words, Brittany’s boyfriends’ intolerance for eating in the car may provide him with the opportunity to not be as intolerant with Brittany

And this may very well be Brittany’s opportunity to assert positions earlier, especially where something as important as eating is concerned?

If only things were this easy.

Hadn’t it been for our emotions, we would have had the clear capacity to reason and barter with our positions in any given moment.

So, what role does emotions play in our lives?