A blog inspired by a quote shared by @pointlessoverthinking.com

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Had I been given a clear definition of love earlier in my life it would not have taken me so long to become a more loving person.”

Pointlessoverthinking.com- Healing Wounded Children

There I was in a basement in my best friend’s vehicle, going over a 3 vehicle collision in which I was sandwiched between 2 big vehicles, the year prior.

My Smart Watch had done me a grave injustice by notifying me that my heart rate was was a bit elevated and I can’t remember whether this was imagined or really seen but I have never seen numbers spiral by 50 beats per minute at 2nd glance.

I’m sure I was terrified by seeing the watch go from 80 beats per minute to about 185 in 2 seconds at resting rate. I weigh around 150 lbs and by all literature, my heart rate during exercise was to go the most 190 beats per minute.

Yet, I was not engaged in a Peloton work out- not that I can afford to.

I bolted from the vehicle, and my friend hurriedly followed behind. Struck by my sudden flight towards the elevator, my friend shouted, “ Lisa, what’s wrong, u ok?”.

At least that’s what she lamented long after this episode because I have no recollection of any conversation. How could I? I was having a Heart Attack, I thought to myself.

I remember feeling chills from my foot bottom slowly traveling upwards towards my stomach.

This must be a heart attack, I pranced back and forth in cold sweat as I signalled to the security guard to call the Police. Thank God he didn’t because what would the Police have done?

By this time, I remember my friend asking me to calm down while I shouted to the security to get the police. The Security guard frantically summoned his Supervisor who did some gesture to which I understood it to be a question of if I’m ok.

By this time, I had called my mom to convince her that I may have overdosed on my allergy medication. This is what anxiety does to you. It makes you feel like you’re dying and you’re the cause of it.

Mother , being a health care labourer, told me that I’m ok and that it is highly unlikely for me to overdose on the type of medication and dosage I advised I had taken.

By this time, my clothes was almost halfway down , flushed with sweat while water from the bathroom ran down my face.

I remember bolting upstairs to splash water on my face and it somehow brought me back to life, as the lightning chills that permeated my body subsided.

After regaining my consciousness or whatever was lost, My friend and I went somewhere and while seated, she noticed that I was sitting exceptionally close to her. I told her I was scared to move any further.

This is when she lamented, “ No it’s time to go home”. “No!” I insisted.

But it was clear. Something triggered that episode of anxiety’s dm I was now afraid to be by myself.

What was it? I didn’t feel anxious before so where did this come from.

What had frightened my bodily responses to flee?

Eventually, I had to go home and get some rest but the months that succeeded saw me being humiliated by my ‘friend’ about the topic.

God bless her poor heart, as she too suffers from anxiety and wild episodes at random times of the night to which I have had to calm her down.

I will not divulge the knitty gritty of what anxiety is but I do know that millions of people suffer from this worldwide and most do not even have the language to describe what the feeling is.

Long after, I took pleasure in reminding her of these episodes . It helped .

It is easy for me to drop you a hotline to speak to someone if you’re suffering from anxiety. I can even refer plenty books on the subject, cite many videos and the works.

But this piece is for those with debilitating anxiety. The kind that doesn’t make you want to see anyone, take any pills or do anything but , Be.

I say to you, let it be. Time heals wounds.

Be aware of the sensations in your body if you can do so 1 million times her day.

As Eckhart Tolle , puts forth in one of his You Tube videos;

The thoughts or anxious feelings are happening to you -they are not yours to own.

Yes they are weighty and they suck the last breath from your body everyday but this is it’s nature.

It is there to tell you that whatever you’re anxious about, you really care about the result (s).

You should consider what results do you fear happening and the likelihood of it happening by noting how many times said result have happened to you or someone you know.

Remind yourself everyday that these thoughts are happening to you. These thoughts are being thought collectively by humanity. the problem is not you.

I cannot go without telling you to speak with a trusted friend or use the blog or some writing to help you unleash some emotions as I’m doing now

Release the emotions so that while you rest, your brain and subconscious will help you to assort what information is needed and what isn’t and offload the rest to history.

I may have read that somewhere or these may very well be my own observations but it’s worth the try. These techniques do not and should not be replaced with having to see a therapist or psychologist to assist you and the brain in getting back on track, depending on your level of anxiety.

Do not feel alone. Do not grieve about your anxiety. Try not to grieve at the fact that you’re grieving and allow athe anxiety to show you what is important to you and what isnt. Perhaps you are holding unto a result or opportunity that you know cannot happen. Sometimes our bodies, as a memory hub, doesn’t realize that we no longer hold some values, especially as adults and still tells us to be anxious about old time values that do not serve us.

Perhaps you’re worried about money or the lack, perhaps your childhood trauma is seeping through your pores and something in adulthood is triggering you to deal with it. Perhaps you are guilt stricken. Perhaps you’re being abused- where if so, you should plan and seek refuge in the police if this is so. Some secret self defense classes on YouTube or a professional can help you to regain confidence in this case. Do not take these powerful suggestions lightly. Our bodies have memory. Do something with your body. Work out.

Do not try to explain anxiety to everyone. Not everyone understands that language and this is fine.

What are you struggling with today?

Please let me know

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